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Eldaraenth-The Bardic Circle

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SONGS

"Music is the medicine of the Soul"

Sounds of Violence.
(Sounds of Silence)

Hello broadsword my old friend
I've come to fight with you again
Because the sounds of battle ringing
In my ears has me singing
And the rock that I have instead of a brain
Still remains
I love the sounds of violence

In tournaments I fight alone
I leave my melee gear at home
But when I go down to the Pennsic War
I often fight in groups of five or more
When my friend was stabbed by an eastern spear in the head
He was dead
Touched by the sounds of violence

A thousand footmen waging war
A hundred archers maybe more
Polemen thrusting from the second row
Shieldmen dying, they're the first to go
Two-stick fighters can harry the enemy flank
They've got rank
And love the sounds of violence

Foolishly I pressed ahead
I'd be a hero or be dead
A belted fighter tried to teach me
With his polearm he might reach me
But my blows like violent hailstones fell
And struck well
Causing the sounds of violence

Eastrelm fighters fell and died
Before the advancing midrealm tide
And we shouted out our battle cry
We would conquer or we would die
And the bards sing the deeds of the fighters that bravely fall
And they all
Whisper the sounds of violence

(submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

The Ballad of the D&Der
(The Ballad of the Green Berret)

The Ballad of the D&Der
(The Ballad of the Green Berret)

Put iron plate upon his ass;
This will raise his armor class.
Two hundred men will die today;
Only Orcs will walk away.

Putting sword into his hand,
He did join a lawful band.
He killed Ogres two by two,
But was done in by a MU.

Fireballs are hard to fight.
They give off heat, and lot{ of light.
He did not make his saving throw.
He was crisped from head to toe.

The moral's plain for all to see-
When you're playing D and D,
If you meet an evil MU,
Get him first or he'll get you.

Put iron plate upon his ass;
This will raise his armor class.
Two hundred men will die today;
Only Orcs will walk away.

(submitted by Matthew Brotherton)

The Moose Song
Author Unknown

The Moose Song- Author Unknown

When I was a young lad I used to like girls,
I'd play with their corsets and fondle their curls.
'Till one day, my lady I caught with some churl,
Now you'd never get treated that way by a moose.

[chorus]
Moose, moose, I likes a moose,
I've never had anything quite like a moose.
I've had lots of lovers, my life has been loose,
But I've never had anything quite like a moose.

Now when I'm in need of a very good lay,
I go to my closet and get me some hay.
I go to my window and spread it around.
'Cause moose always come when there's hay on the ground.

[chorus]

Gorillas are all right on Saturday night,
Lions and tigers, they puts up a fight.
But it's just not the same when you slam your caboose, the Moose.
As the feeling you get when you humps with a moose.

[chorus]

I've done it with beasties with long flowing hair,
I'd do it with snakes if their fangs were not there.
I've done it with walrus, a monkey, and goose,
But it's just not the same when you screw with a moose.

[chorus]

I've fought many battles on fields, and on Farms
I've had many women in beds, and in barns
Some men serve Odin, and some men serve Zeus
but you've never known service, til you've serviced a moose

[chorus]

Now that I am old and advanced in my years,
I look back on my life and shed me no tears.
As I sit in my chair with my glass of Matheus,
Playing Hide-The-Salami with Melba the Moose.

[chorus]

(Submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

MR. ZARTHOSIAN
TUNE: Mr. Roboto (Styx)
LYRICS: GARIFF OF NEARBONSHIRE
(Submitted by Matthew Brotherton)

Domo arigato, Mr Zarthosian
math ah-oo hima de
Domo arigato, Mr. Zarthosian
Himitsu wo shiri tai

You?wandering what I am
Secret Secret I?got a secret!
Human or Goblinoid
Secret Secret I?got a secret!
With parts made from an orc
Secret Secret I?got a secret!
I am a Zar-tho-sian

I?got a secret,
I?been hiding,
Under my helm!
My heart is human,
My blood is ogre,
My brain non-exsistant!
So if you see me,
Acting strangely,
Don?e suprised!
I?ust a thing who
Needed a sword
and something to kill
To keep me busy-just keep me busy
Something to kill to keep me busy

I?ot a monster
without emotion-
I?ot what you think
I?come to kill you
with my longsword
So I?ot bored
I?ot a Hero,
I?ot a savior,
forget what you know
I?ust a thing whose
formalities
Are out of control!
Beyond all control- Who needs control?
I hate control- Who needs control?

I am a Zar-tho-sian
Secret Secret I?got a secret
Who hides under a helm
Secret Secret I?got a secret
So no one else can see
Secret Secret I?got a secret
My huge front teeth

Domo Arigato, Mr. Zarthosian, domo... domo!
Domo Arigato, Mr. Zarthosian, domo... domo!
Domo Arigato, Mr. Zarthosian, domo... domo!
Domo arigato, Mr. Zarthosian
Domo arigato, Mr. Zarthosian
Domo arigato, Mr. Zarthosian
Domo arigato, Mr. Zarthosian (Repeated Through Next Verse)
Thank you very much, Mr. Zarthosian
For doing the jobs that no human stomaches
And thank you very much, Mr. Zarthosian
For wearing that helmet to keep you covered
Thank you- thank you- thank you
I want to thank you, please, Thank you
Ooooooaaooooh IIIIIIEEEEIIIIII!!! (end Domo's)

The problem is plain to see,
Too much wizardry,
Magics to save our lives,
Magics dehumanize!

The time has come at last
Secret Secret I?got a secret
to throw away this helm
Secret Secret I?got a secret
So everyone can see
Secret Secret I?got a secret
Even the tusks on me
I?arthos! Zarthos! Zarthos! Zarthos!

A Grazing Mace!
(Amazing Grace)

A grazing mace,
how sweet the sound,
that felled my foe for me

I bashed his head,
he struck the ground,
and thus came victory

My mace has taught my foes to fear,
that mace my fear relieved
How precious did my mace appear,
when I my mace received

Through many tourneys wars and fairs,
I have already come
My mace has brought me safe thus far,
my mace will bring me home

The King has promised good to me,
his word my hope secures
I will his shield and weapon be,
when he gives me my spurs

And when my mace my foeman nails,
that mortal strife shall cease
And we'll possess within our pale,
a life of joy and peace

A grazing mace,
how sweet the sound
that flattened a wretch like thee!

Whose head is flat,
that once was round;
done in by my mace....and me!

A grazing mace,
how sweet the sound
that smites a foe like thee

You're left there lying on the ground,
you've left the field to me!

(Submitted By Justin Zimmerman)

Under the Shield Wall
Lyrics: Andrixos and Chidiock (SCA)
Tune: "Under the Boardwalk"

Under the Shield Wall
Lyrics: Andrixos and Chidiock (SCA)
Tune: "Under the Boardwalk"

Oh when the sun is hot
And your head's burning in your helm,
And though you fight and fight
Neither side can overwhelm,
Under the shield wall - it's the place to be -
With my lady beside me - willingly.

Under the shield wall, where it's quiet and dark;
Under the shield wall, like our own private park;
Under the shield wall, polearms crashing above;
Under the shield wall, we'll be making love;
Under the shield wall, shield wall.

Well it's the safest place
That fighter can ever be.
No weapon reaches there
To break our sweet tranquility.
Under the shield wall - out of the sun,
With my lady beside me, we'll be havin fun.


(chorus)

So when the sides are joined,
And you find yourself in the press,
Why don't you join me there
And take a break from battle stress.
Under the shield wall - it's the place to be,
With my lady beside me - carnally.

(Submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

Viking Men
Author Anon.
Tune of "Jingle Bells"

Viking Men
Author Anon.
Tune of "Jingle Bells"

Dashing thru the town,
Our firebrands burning bright,
Striking foemen down,
Setting things alight,
Swords on axes ring,
Making spirits bright,
What fun it is to laugh and sing,
A _slaying_ song tonight!

(Chorus, second line changes every verse)
We're viking men, viking men, plundering your shore,
Another dragon ship sails in discharging twenty more,
We're viking men, viking men, our axes red with gore,
Shouting out our battle cries and singing praise to Thor!

See your harbor fair,
Filled with our dragon ships,
See men with flame-red hair,
And foam on bearded lips,
We come at break of day,
To depredate your land,
And then, when we have gone away,
No unburnt building stands.

(Chorus- Second line is
"Another... discharging forty more.")

We're carrying away,
Whatever we admire,
Your forces to delay,
We've set the rest on fire.
With you we've had our will,
And varied was your cost,
We sacked the convent on the hill,
And more than gold was lost!

(Chorus- 2nd line is
"Another.... discharging eighty more.")

There is one simple way,
To keep us from your shore,
If you'll but Danegeld pay,
(Sung as insincerely as possible)
We'll be your friends once more.
This act you will not rue,
You'll have no cause to fear,
(Pause a beat or two for effect,
the sing loudly...)
Until the next installment's due,
When we come back next year!

(Chorus- The 2nd line is
"A fleet of dragon ships sail
in discharging thousands more!")

(Submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

RING THEIR BELL
Tune: Jingle Bells
Submitted by Mourtegoul


Slashing through the Orcs
With a good two-handed blade
Over corpses we go
And through the gore we wade
Mace on helmet rings
Making bodies fly
What fun to sing our Slaying Song
And watch these suckers DIE!

(chorus)
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold for fame and gold
We'll make a lot today!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And blow these dudes away!

Crashing through the door
Into the Dragon's nose
Our mage whips out a Cone of Cold
And out his fire goes!
Elven bowstrings sing
Making Balrogs fall
And our theif finds a secret door
Into the treasure hall!

(chorus)

Then appears the Lich
With his demon guard
Our wizard yawns and wishes
We'd run into something hard.
He begins to cast
His 19th level spell
The damn lich throws a Gate at us
And drops us all in Hell!

(chorus)

We appear in Hell
In front of Satan's throne
Our Cleric waves us out the door
And takes him on alone!
Satan's legions don't
Want to let us go
Our Techno pulls a bazooka out
And NUKES 'em 'till they GLOW!

Oh, ring their bells with Prayers and Spells
Don't let 'em get away!
We're brave and bold and CRAZED, we're told
To think we'll live the day!
Oh, ring their bells with swords and SHELLS
Don't let 'em get away!
We'll hack and slash and blast and trash
And drag our loot away!

One Tin Soldier
The Legend of Billy Jack
Lyrics: Lambert-Potter
Sung by Coven

Listen, children, to a story
That was written long ago,
'Bout a kingdom on a mountain
And the valley-folk below.

On the mountain was a treasure
Buried deep beneath the stone,
And the valley-people swore
They'd have it for their very own.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

So the people of the valley
Sent a message up the hill,
Asking for the buried treasure,
Tons of gold for which they'd kill.

Came an answer from the kingdom,
"With our brothers we will share
All the secrets of our mountain,
All the riches buried there."

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

Now the valley cried with anger,
"Mount your horses! Draw your sword!"
And they killed the mountain-people,
So they won their just reward.

Now they stood beside the treasure,
On the mountain, dark and red.
Turned the stone and looked beneath it...
"Peace on Earth" was all it said.

Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
Go ahead and cheat a friend.
Do it in the name of Heaven,
You can justify it in the end.
There won't be any trumpets blowing
Come the judgement day,
On the bloody morning after....
One tin soldier rides away.

(Submitted by Tim Neppel)

I NEED A SHEEP
To the Tune of "Scotland the Brave"

I NEED A SHEEP
To the Tune of "Scotland the Brave"

Bring me some whiskey, mother
I'm feeling frisky, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
I need a lover, mother
No, not my brother, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

Gerbils don't make it, mother
They just can't take it, mother
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!
Owls, bats and other critters
Just tend to give me jitters
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

Sheep never talk about it
They never ever doubt it
Always so placid, affectionate and nice!
Give me that lanolin.
Better than flannel-in.
I need a sheep to keep me warm through the night!

(submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

We Will Cleave You
TUNE: "We Will Rock You"
Words by Carolus Mediocris
(set stomping beat and then start the song)

We Will Cleave You
TUNE: "We Will Rock You"
Words by Carolus Mediocris
(set stomping beat and then start the song)

Buddy you're a newbie,
Pathetic piece of dogmeat,
You say you wanna be a great knight someday!
You've got mud on your face
Big disgrace
Flapping your shield all over the place!

Singing We will, we will CLEAVE YOU!!!!
We will, CLEAVE YOU!!!!

Buddy you're a squire now,
Slaving for your knight now,
He says he's gonna teach you to fight someday!
You got dung on your face,
Big disgrace,
Browning your nose all over the place!

Twinkie you're a knight now,
Ego shining bright now,
You think you can't be beaten at all these days!
You got a smirk on your face,
Big disgrace,
Waving your belt all over the place!

Buddy you're the king now,
Won that tourney thing, yeah,
But the queen she still is holding your puppet strings!
It was a big mistake,
Your bones all ache,
Your armour is crushed all over the place!

Buddy you're a duke now,
Haven't learned a thing pal,
You want to sit the throne of An Tir again!
Your most noble grace,
As good as in the grave, Ace,
Hit too many times with a great big mace!!!

Singing We will, we will CLEAVE YOU!!!!
We will, we will CLEAVE YOU!!!!

(Submitted by Justin Zimmerman)

Untitled
by Thomas Moore
submitted by Val Pendragon

The harp that once through Tara's halls
The souls of music shed
Now hangs as mute on Tara's walls
As if that soul were fled
So sleeps the pride of former days
So glorys thrill is o'er
And hearts that once beat high with praise
now feel that pulse no more

No more chiefs and ladies bright
the harp of Tara Swells;
The chord alone that breaks the night,
its tale if ruin tells.
Thus freedom now so seldom wakes,
the only throb she gives
Is when some heart indignant breaks,
to show that she still lives.